February 2012
48 posts
How true that is.
goldalines:
do they call benedict cumberbatch ben or benny for short or does everyone just call him benedict cumberbatch all the time
even as a small child
“finish your peas, benedict cumberbatch”
Bombs Away
Evie: My first birthday in Evie world, the other Evie's put a bomb in my piece of cake.
Me: Why would they do that?
Evie: Because that's what you do on the first birthday.
Me: What happened when the bomb exploded?
Evie: I shot down to Earth and landed in your tummy.
Me: So you're here and the other Evie's are back in Evie world?
Evie: Yeah. They want me to come back for my second birthday there.
Me: Are you going to go?
Evie: No. I don't want to be bombed into your tummy again when it's time for me to blow out my candles.
Me: So you're going to stay here?
Evie: Yeah. I like it here better anyway.
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Dysfunction
If there were an Olympic sport based solely on how well a family* can sweep their problems under a rug until the rug literally falls apart string by string, my family would have started winning Gold the day my parents got married and every single year since then. While we all seem perfectly capable of confrontation with other people not in our family, we simply cannot sit down and confront each...
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The tit of his penis
shitmystudentswrite:
It was at the Jewish barmitsfa that a young boy gets circumscribed, which means having the tit of his penis cut off ritualistically speaking.
I don’t know how anyone could read through the submissions on this site and not understand why teachers (especially composition teachers) are underpaid.
You know….ritualistically speaking.
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“It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost...”
– ~From Carson McCullers’ “Ballad of the Sad Cafe”
Reminds me of the love shared between Heathcliff and Catherine.
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"When Your 7-Year-Old Son Announces, 'I'm Gay'"
Read this.
“Yes, I am,” he said.
“Am what, baby?” I asked.
“Gay. I’m gay.”
My world paused for a moment, and I saw the “geez, Mom, didn’t you know that already?” look on my son’s face.
I got off the phone and leaned down to eye level with him and rubbed my nose against his. “I love you so much.”
My wish is...
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Potty Mouth
I have made a wager with the hubby, who believes I can’t clean up my language for a 7 day time period. If I win, I get a new pair of TOMS. These to be exact. If he wins, he gets a porterhouse steak with the full fixings one night for dinner.
I think he has underestimated a girl’s need for new shoes.
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Arguing with the Arguers.
This week, my classes have been watching Loose Change 9/11: An American Coup. The textbook we are using talks about conspiracy theories, but the example they use is the Holocaust. While I definitely think the Holocaust is something students need to know about, I have found that using more modern day examples makes learning a little easier to swallow for today’s college freshman. (That...
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Thrift
This Valentine’s I got a clean kitchen, a really good sub sandwich, a plaid snuggie, and a garden gnome.
Rereading that sentence tells me two things:
I have managed, at 33, to become settled and happy with the simple things
My husband knows me far better than I could have ever fathomed knowing myself.
There was also some mention of me maybe going thrift shopping in the next few days,...
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Ignore all of this.
There are all these things swimming inside my head. Little things that linger right on the tip of my tongue that I know I should say, but can’t because it isn’t polite or pc or even all that nice at times. Should that stop a person, though? From saying what they mean rather than nodding and stretching dead lips across their face in hopes no one will notice their smile doesn’t...
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So, about last night...
Last night, the hubby and I decided we’d celebrate V-day early because there’s no way we can do a Tuesday night. So we shipped the kids off and we planned a whole evening. Here’s how it went.
Wait at restaurant: 80 minutes
Line at restaurant: out the door, across the porch area
Weather at restaurant: freezing with unbelievable wind
So we decided to wait in the car. But then...
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That's Quality Education
My English 112 students had to perform logical fallacy examples today. My favorite was:
“Your daddy ain’t shit. Your granddaddy ain’t shit. So you ain’t never gonna be shit.”
You do what you have to do to get them to understand it.
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Talking Points
When going into a classroom to yell at students, it’s important to have talking points. Today, mine are:
This is not snack time. You are not five. There are no juice boxes being wheeled in on a cart before you get on your mat for naptime. Keep this in mind when you come into class.
Whining is unbecoming on an adult. When you start to whine, my mom gene kicks in and I immediately tune you...
monophthong asked: Auntie M, I have a confession to make: I am MAD jelly of your hair. Is there some way we can genetically alter me enough that I can get rid of my nappy afro and have luscious locks like yours? Love, Maruh
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Fangirl
Do you see this? I will be at this conference (presenting a paper). And mutha fuckin George Takei will, too (not presenting a paper).
Excuse me while I SQUEE like a 12 year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert.
Anonymous asked: I sometimes wonder if you have forgotten me, but then I know better. Is it still ok if I stalk you? Because I really can't help it :). Hope all is wonderful with you.
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I have decided to start watching season 1 of Gossip Girl on Netflix.
Don’t judge me.
‘Tis only because I have run out of Doctor Who and Sherlock and they took The Catherine Tate Show off and I’m not ready to start Torchwood yet. And…
Huh. I seem to even be defending myself to myself over this choice.
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From the kitchen of 1961
Baking Homemade Bread: How To Shape Loaves
Rolled Dough Method
Step 1
With rolling pin, roll dough out to uniform thickness, stretching by hand to form rectangle approximately 9″ x 12″. Make certain to break down all gas bubbles in the outer edge of the dough.
Step 2
From upper edge, roll dough toward you, jelly roll fashion, sealing dough with heel of hand after each roll of dough. (About...
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That moment when you finally get around to cleaning out the fridge and throwing away every thing that has gone bad or been in there forever only to find out you only have condiments, a half gallon of milk, cheese slices, and garlic cloves left to eat.
I loathe grocery shopping.
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Things that have sucked so far today:
A student called me a cunt and told me my classroom policies were bullshit.
I have cracked a rib on my right side somehow and now whenever I cough I believe I am going to die.
One of my favorite students withdrew from college entirely today and I hate that because he’s a good kid and when he tries he excels. I’m going to miss having him in class.
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Services that Planned Parenthood ALSO offers
22 forms of birth control, including abstinence
Help with Body Image difficulties
At least 9 different General Health services
Men’s Sexual Health help
Prenatal Care, Miscarriage Help, Infertility information, etc.
Sessions for Relationship help and concerns
Sexuality Information
Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity information and help
STD information and help
At least 10...
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January 2012
46 posts
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Nerd Humor
I still love Spongebob.
“Steal from the best. If you can’t think of a character for a story, think of...”
– Kurt Vonnegut, quoted in the excellent And So It Goes (via austinkleon)
Genius.