My life in random with a little of the truth involved
The commercial for hide away pets makes me so fucking mad. You ripped off Popples you douche nozzle.
I sometimes complain that she insists on sleeping on me for her afternoon nap. But then I remember she won’t always be this small and those complaints vanish.
Emma is 21 weeks old tomorrow. She eats green beans, bananas, peaches, oatmeal, and pears. She does not eat apples or sweet potatoes. She likes her pacifier only when sleeping. The rest of the time, she prefers her thumb. Bath time is her favorite time of day. She has daily battles with a stuffed red bird. She does not like being left out by her sisters and demands to be present at the dinner table for all meal times. Her favorite thing to do is drool, chew on her hands and feet, and giggle when she gets her diaper changed.
She will see the ocean for the first time on Saturday. I’m sure she will be unimpressed.
im pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on a shelf i cant reach, but i dont want to jump to conclusions
IS THIS REAL.
LETS ALL APPRECIATE FOR A MOMENT THAT THE UNIVERSE EVOLVED JUST RIGHT TO MAKE THIS PUN POSSIBLE
If a student wrote that as their final paragraph and turned it in to me, I would totally give full credit for that conclusion.
That chunky thigh.
I made Emma a toy.
My play mate is the best ever. Love this 4 month old pumpkin.
omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re a huge asshole, tom” and he was like “JUST PUSH ME INTO A DITCH”